RWBY: Into Shadows

The Grimm hordes ever encroach upon the kingdoms of Remnant, and it falls to academies such as Beacon to train the defenders of the realms.
 
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 Eliza Bathory Heart

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Chess Nekota

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PostSubject: Eliza Bathory Heart   Sun Apr 20, 2014 7:49 pm

Character Info

Name: Eliza Bathory Hearts

Gender: Female

Race: Human

Age: 18 (Second Year)

Personality: Fairly cheerful around others but also tends to be mischievous and playful. In a way she’s a tsundere in the gentler definition, showing disinterest in things or people she likes but tends to tease them to show affection. With a love of sweets and cute things, she tends to show a childish side in these matters. At times she appears care free and simple, but sometimes in battle you can see a completely different side to her that only be described as murderous. Her need to do her best and succeed shows as she uses fast and brutal movement to decapitate her opponents. Yet at the same time, she seems to keep a cool demeanor, her expression becoming blank or sometimes stern and regal. Showing an almost aristocratic way of fighting with a blade meant for decapitation, she almost seems like a warrior queen born to fight. And yet sometimes, if one observes her closely enough in a fight, tiny tears tend to form at the corner of her eyes. Deep inside, Eliza doesn't want to kill and doesn't even like fighting, but her resolve to live the life of a huntress forces her to be absolutely merciless.

Appearance:
Spoiler:
 
Standing 5’2 ft and weights 100 lb normally. Rather thin in frame and build with smooth, pale skin. Her hair is a pinkish color and she has dark red irises. Her hair is styled in twin corkscrews with a single ahoge sticking out from the top. It’s curved strangely like a heart.

Representation: The Queen of Hearts

Color: Red

Semblance:

Burden: A semblance that has two different sides. One part allows Eliza to make anything as light as a feather. In contrast, she can also make anything as heavy as a mountain. She can change the weight to anything between a feather to a mountain as she wishes. Neither of which changes the size or property of the object but instead controls the amount of force gravity has on a given object. The appliance is instantaneous, thus the weight of the affect is quickly felt. Her semblance is what allows Eliza to carry her weapon around and swing it easily despite her low physical strength. The drawback to the semblance though is that it requires physical contact.

Eliza must be in physical contact with an object to be able to apply her semblance on it. To keep something as heavy or as light as she wanted, Eliza must continue to be in physical contact with it. The moment the contact breaks, the semblance cancels out and the original weight of the object returns. She can extend her semblance through things she is holding or touching such as her weapon. If the weapon is in contact with something and she is holding said weapon, she can use her semblance through that. This only works on object her body is in direct contact with and holding onto with her hands. While Eliza can use her semblance on just about anything, objects used through channeling must have an equal or lesser mass than her sword for her to be able to extend her semblance through that to another object.

Just because she can make an object lighter, it does not mean she's any stronger at all. The weight of an object does not equal its strength or density.

Ex: Eliza could make an entire tree as light as a toothpick but she won't be able to uproot it from the ground. Eliza can make a car thrown at her as light as a child's toy and bat it aside but if an opponent swings a club downward at her and she attempts to block, no matter how light she makes the weapon or the person holding it, her strength would most likely lose to the opponent and she would get crushed.

Emblem:
Spoiler:
 

Bio:
Spoiler:
 


Equipment and Battle Info

Attire: A sleeveless dark gray shirt with dark red edges. A bright red neckerchief is tied in triple ruffles at her collar. On her arms are unattached long sleeves  that start from below her shoulders and down to her knuckles. They match the color scheme of her shit along with her combat skirt. As footwear goes she usually wears dark gray long boots that go up to her mid thighs. The soles of the boots are a scarlet color and the toes of each have a heart print on it. The materials are light but sturdy, allowing full movement but minimal protection.

Fighting style: Fast pace and ferocious. Prefers close quarter battle and relies on quick movements and beating her opponent in speed rather than brute strength. She uses her semblance on herself to make her lighter in battle, increasing her movement speed incredibly high with the absence of most of her weight. Her fighting style generally is concentrated on hacking and slashing brutally.

Weapon Name: Scarlet Empress

Weapon Range:
Firearm range: 20ft
Steel cable length: 40ft
Blade reach: Measurements on diagram

Weapon type: Heavy slash weapon

Weapon Description:

1stForm:
 
2ndForm:
 

Weapon Abilities:

-Scissor blade: As presented in the design, the sword opens in the middle like a pair of scissors. The inner blades are about as sharp as metal sheers and can easily take off a head.

-Steel cable: Blade can be launched from the handle while connected to a forty foot steel wire cable. Alice is able to use this on farther targets with much better accuracy then the firearm function, but is much slower then shooting a bullet.

-Watch and chain: Not particularly useful in battle but it can tell the time with good accuracy.

-Bullet proof shield: The sheath of her weapon, aptly named the Knave of Guards, has straps in the back allowing it to be used as a shield. It is made of laminated titanium alloy making it a sturdy, bulletproof shield.

-Splitting halves: The handle can split in the middle, separating the weapon into two swords but only one will have shooting capabilities.

Misc. Info

Family: N/A

Strengths and Weaknesses:

Strengths:

- High speed and agility. Eliza’s small body is agile, nimble, and fast. Has some minor acrobatic ability. Can perform quick and precise melee strikes at high speeds.

- Cold hearted. When in a serious fight she has no hesitation.

- Quick witted. Able to think fast and produce quick reactions to situations. When opponent attempts to attack, Eliza is able to quickly come up with a counter or reaction.

- Small frame. A small target is hard to hit, especially when it moves fast like Eliza.

- High awareness: Is very sharp when it comes to her surroundings and very aware when it comes to understanding the situation.

Weaknesses:

-Low strength. Eliza possesses average strength for a little girl but as a huntress she is very low par in comparison to what should be the average. In a test of strength against just about anything, Eliza is sure to lose.

- Light weight. Weighing so little herself, she can be pushed around easily by heavy forces.

- Not good with firearms. Though her weapon has shooting capabilities, Eliza does not have good aim at all. Preferring close range fights, Alice has to shoot at a pretty close range to aim properly if not barely.

- Instinctive. Tends to fight using impulse and instincts rather then taking the time to think things through. Although is able to quickly react to attacks received, most attacks given tend to be instinctive, usually consisting of hack and slash.

Other: Academically, she is incredibly well endowed. She makes a point getting good grades.

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"We're all mad in this world. I'm mad and so are you. If you aren't mad, then how can you be alive?" --Chess Nekota


Last edited by Chess Nekota on Fri May 02, 2014 2:43 am; edited 4 times in total
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Alex Barkhorn
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PostSubject: Re: Eliza Bathory Heart   Mon Apr 21, 2014 4:06 am

These were the issues I found from my first read through. Critiques are subject to change/addition.

I'm assuming you fixed the weight, so we can move past that.

I love her bio, and her reason of going to become a Huntress.

My only concern is her semblance, and her weapon(s). Her semblance is very interesting, and I can see the application used in it. The only things are, for one, since it takes initial contact, is it an instantaneous change from a light weight to an extremely heavy weight? And, also, when connecting her semblance through objects. Since she can also use her semblance through her weapon, it seems as if she can use it through just about anything- the ground she's sharing with her foe, for example. I'm assuming that isn't the case, but more clarification and restriction on what can and can't be used with her semblance would be great.

Also, her weapon. It is incredibly well designed and very intricate, which is awesome! But, I feel that, for the forum, it has way too many abilities. I'd recommend maybe removing one of the abilities, or maybe even reducing the strengths of the forms. For example, a long time to wind the steel cord back in, the shield can deteriorate with extensive damage, etc.

Other than that, the character is very well done.

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"This is where I will draw my line." - Renji Aoki

"Be proud of who you are." - Veronique "Vera" Milian, Leader of team VMLN

"Hey, young blood." - Ezekiel "Zeke" Akairo.

"Oso sugiru..." - Okiro Kuroki. of team ONYX

"Do not hurt my friends! Ya got that?!" - Xiang Fahy

"Smile!" - Rudil Blaus

I don't care what other people think of me.
I know what I am, and no whiny asshat with daddy issues can change that.

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Chess Nekota

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PostSubject: Re: Eliza Bathory Heart   Mon Apr 21, 2014 3:06 pm

Alright, so I edited her semblance to state an obvious limit to what she can or can't extend her semblance through and I got rid of the shotgun function making it a full melee weapon.

"It's also a gun- Oh wait, no it's not..."

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"We're all mad in this world. I'm mad and so are you. If you aren't mad, then how can you be alive?" --Chess Nekota
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PostSubject: Re: Eliza Bathory Heart   Thu Apr 24, 2014 2:59 am

Much better. Thank you.

Recommended.

________________
"This is where I will draw my line." - Renji Aoki

"Be proud of who you are." - Veronique "Vera" Milian, Leader of team VMLN

"Hey, young blood." - Ezekiel "Zeke" Akairo.

"Oso sugiru..." - Okiro Kuroki. of team ONYX

"Do not hurt my friends! Ya got that?!" - Xiang Fahy

"Smile!" - Rudil Blaus

I don't care what other people think of me.
I know what I am, and no whiny asshat with daddy issues can change that.

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PostSubject: Re: Eliza Bathory Heart   Thu Apr 24, 2014 7:25 am

The quick witted and instinctive strength and weakness seem contradictory, reading them. Perhaps give further clarification as to how those are not mutually exclusive?

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Chess Nekota

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PostSubject: Re: Eliza Bathory Heart   Thu Apr 24, 2014 1:53 pm

Edited for clarification.

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PostSubject: Re: Eliza Bathory Heart   Fri May 02, 2014 2:25 am

As much as I love the character, I have to say that the personality seems a bit vague <0-0>
"Murderous" can mean any number of qualities. I assume if you mean to compare her to the common portrayal of the red queen from Alice in Wonderland, you could say something like, harsh and stubborn in combat, or, very brutal in the way she fights her opponents.

And while her Bio does provide good backstory. It is a tad short. I would ask that extensions be made, perhaps to say a bit about her first year at Beacon.
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PostSubject: Re: Eliza Bathory Heart   Fri May 02, 2014 2:46 am

Okay, there. Personality fixed.

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PostSubject: Re: Eliza Bathory Heart   Fri May 02, 2014 2:48 am

Seems fit to me.

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