RWBY: Into Shadows

The Grimm hordes ever encroach upon the kingdoms of Remnant, and it falls to academies such as Beacon to train the defenders of the realms.
 
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 Sage White

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Skratty



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Join date : 2014-03-17

PostSubject: Sage White   Thu Mar 27, 2014 6:37 pm

Character Info

Name: Sage White

Gender: Female

Race: Feline Faunus

Age: 18

Personality: While possessed of a generally happy disposition, Sage's literal fall from grace haunts her. While by no means an alcoholic, she's always in for a good time. She doesn't often turn down a drink and has, on a number of occasions, been in combat situations while a little tipsy. When in public she tends to be rather bubbly and cheerful, and tries not to let anyone see the melancholy her injuries left her with.

Appearance: Standing at 5'5", this feline Faunus would be on the smaller side, though sporting enough muscle to give her the appearance of being quite athletic. She displays her ears and tail freely, her tail almost always flicking back and forth. Her dull, purple hair is cut in the front to frame her face, while the rest reaches down to her waist, always tied into a tight braid. Her clear, green eyes were often quite expressive, betraying her mischievous disposition.

Representation: Zeus

Color: Green

Semblance: Preternatural Balance: Sage's Semblance works in conjunction with her tail, instilling an incredible sense of equilibrium to her. This enables her to keep fighting from various awkward positions, recover from falls or knockbacks, and otherwise be able to find her footing under most normal circumstances.

Emblem: N/A

Bio: Sage was always an energetic child, and as she grew older she put most of her focus into becoming an athlete. After climbing too high in a tree and standing on a branch that couldn't quite support her, she fell, breaking several bones, hurting her knee and ending her prospects as a champion athlete. As part of her physical rehab she took up sport fighting, training with coaches and fully trained Huntsmen, learning bits and pieces from several styles and leading her toward putting those skills towards becoming a Huntress.

As one of three triplets, Sage is technically the youngest of three, but only by a matter of minutes. Still, being treated like the younger sister by her siblings can easily get under her skin, and her status as the 'youngest' is a constant driving force in her pursuit of greatness. The thought of being left behind by her two siblings was practically the sole factor that kept her pushing through her rehab, and which can also cause her to be the first to charge into danger.

Sage also carries quite a mischievous streak when it comes to her family, often attempting to play matchmaker, or simply embarrass them whenever the opportunity presents itself. Despite this, Sage will drop absolutely everything to help her family if they need it, no matter the circumstances.



Equipment and Battle Info


Battle attire: When not in combat she tended to wear a deep, dark green thigh length spaghetti-strapped dress, black sports bra, black bike shorts, and sneakers, while in combat she ditches the dress in favor of the tighter clothing. She often wears a simple sports-wrap around her right knee.

Fighting style: Sage fights using an agility focused mixture of  kickboxing, Muay Thai strikes, and some karate strikes. Her style as a whole revolves around being able to quickly maneuver around a target and attack from any position. When using Overcharge, Sage opts for more direct, blunt palm strikes or spinning back-fist strikes.

Weapon Name: Shock & Roll

Weapon Range: Melee

Weapon type: Gloves

Weapon Description: A pair of finger-less, high-durability, insulated gloves fitted with metal knuckle plating. Dust cartridges are inserted into four slots just past the wrists on the top and bottom of the arm, which power a constant electric charge into the knuckles on par with what a tazer might deliver.

Weapon Abilities: Overcharge: The gloves drain all the Dust from the cartridges, powering a massive electric blast delivered via physical contact from each glove. Once Overcharge is activated, the gloves can hold the charge for a few minutes, but will discharge on their own and potentially break the electrical components until repaired.



Misc. Info


Family: Mother (Currently N/A), Father (Currently N/A), Two siblings (Currently unnamed)

Strengths and Weaknesses:

Strength: Sage is quite agile, utilizing her quick speed and lighter weight to dance around opponents. Her years of training in melee combat styles have given her a good eye for when an opening can be utilized, and experience with gymnastics allow her to flip around to keep an opponent confused and on the defensive.

Weakness: As a melee combatant, Sage is poorly matched against ranged opponents, and while she is a proficient melee fighter, her smaller size makes fighting drastically larger opponents difficult, and can wear down her endurance if the battle is prolonged. Due to the accident that nearly crippled her, she is also rather terrified of heights.

Other:


Last edited by Skratty on Sun Mar 30, 2014 2:45 am; edited 5 times in total
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Brutus:Primus
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PostSubject: Re: Sage White   Fri Mar 28, 2014 8:00 pm

This all looks good, but I need you to edit a few bits and bobs.

-Just a nitpick, but you stated her clothing twice; once in appearance, and again in battle attire. Could you edit it so her clothing is only set in battle attire?
-Bio looks a bit small. You summed it up in one short paragraph, basically. I'd be more inclined to give you a recommendation if you added more, maybe two more paragraphs. They don't have to be long, but not too short either.

Everything else looks good to me.

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Skratty



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PostSubject: Re: Sage White   Sun Mar 30, 2014 2:47 am

I've re-purposed this character. Most of the info is the same, but the name, color, and representation have changed. In addition I've moved all of the clothing to 'battle attire' and added about a paragraph and a half to the bio.
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Brutus:Primus
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PostSubject: Re: Sage White   Sun Mar 30, 2014 2:57 am

Okay, looks all good. I'll give you a recommendation, but I suggest you find an emblem.

RECOMENDED.
.

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My O.C's
Marcus "Mark" òr-Mheas - Cyborg
Salvador De Salvia - Soldier
Raxidius "Raxus" Onychinus - Pirate
Rohan òr-Mheas - Mad Man

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Alex Barkhorn
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PostSubject: Re: Sage White   Thu Apr 24, 2014 3:36 am

These were the issues I found from my first read through. Critiques are subject to change/addition.


  1. I do not see the correlation of your character with Zeus, other than having three siblings. Try and expand on that. He is quite a unique character, so I'm sure you can find something to better relate your character with Zeus.
  2. Her semblance seems more like...A passive ability, rather than an ability you have to stop and use in battle. To be frank, I pretty much assumed all Faunas have this natural, enhanced balance compared to Humans due to having a tail, since tails are pretty much what helps with balance running, jumping, etc. Long story short, you're missing a chance to make a unique Semblance. It's up to you to either alter the semblance to something a little more unique, or change it to an actual power altogether.
  3. This is my biggest issue. If she had sustained an injury severe enough to stop her from becoming an athlete, how on Earth does it not prevent her from becoming a deadly Huntress? I feel as if that permanently-injured knee would be an incredible weakness and seriously play a part in her not being fit to be a warrior.

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"Do not hurt my friends! Ya got that?!" - Xiang Fahy

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Skratty



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PostSubject: Re: Sage White   Sat Apr 26, 2014 3:35 am

1) Three siblings and her weapon. Sage uses electricity, much like Zeus. Other than those, Zeus is mostly known for transforming into animals and knocking up mortals, so I decided against incorporating that. Well, that and his beard, which doesn't really work for a female character.

2) I don't think this makes much sense. Rabbits, for example, don't have the kind of balance cats do. Why would a rabbit Faunus, like Velvet for example, have preternatural balance? More to the point, we haven't seen anything in the show that says Faunus have any kind of abilities humans don't have -- with the possible exception of Sun, though that could just be Huntsman training. Blake, for example, has been shown to get knocked flat on her face despite being a cat Faunus.

3) The smallest injury can prevent someone from being a world class athlete. I blew a piece of my knee out when I was 18 that ended my soccer career, but doesn't prevent me from fighting. A blown ACL will immediately end a football career but once healed that individual can still be a title holding UFC fighter. A profession that seems built less around being Captain America and more around being Hawk-Eye doesn't seem too much of a stretch for a character that hurt their knee once, years prior.
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