RWBY: Into Shadows

The Grimm hordes ever encroach upon the kingdoms of Remnant, and it falls to academies such as Beacon to train the defenders of the realms.
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 Maia Dodgern

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Posts : 42
Join date : 2014-02-21

PostSubject: Maia Dodgern   Sun Mar 09, 2014 7:41 am

Character Info

Name: Maia Dodgern

Gender: Female

Race: Human, part synthetic (robot, cyborg, whatever you wanna call it)


Personality: Maia's personality can be described as "Fragile". Most of her life she has never experinced what real love is. She was kept out of society for most of her life and when she escaped the mines it was obvious she would be almost broken as a human. She has come a long way from her past, but is still shy. She ususally tries to keep to herself and stay out of everyones way. Her feeling can be hurt rather easily with just the wrong choice of words. Despite her fragility she is rather warm-hearted. She is kind to most people she meets and tries to act friendly whenever she decides to talk. When people ask about her mechanical limbs she is typically not that shy about it. She has learned to live with people staring and asking about it over the years.

Appearance: Maia is rather short at 5 feet 5 inches tall. She is slim with a small frame weighing about 130 lbs. She has light blue hair that extends only to about 2 inches above her shoulders. She is white, with a more palish tone of skin. Around her left elbow and the top of her right thigh is some scarring where her accidents happened. Below her left elbow is a metal forearm and hand. Her right leg is also completely replaced with a robotic one. Around her eyes she has minimal scarring, but her eyes have been replaced with cybernetic ones. They provide no other bonuses to the character other than the fact she is not blind.

Representation: The White Dove -- A Danish Fairy Tale

Color: Dodger Blue

Semblance:Her semblence is called Peace and her aura color is the same as above. It practically works the way it sounds. Maia has the ability to soothe and calm those that are around her. She doesn't force them or take control of them, but the people affected by her semblence feel much more at ease and calm. During this time Maia looks slightly heaveanly looking to further calm those around her.

Emblem: A white dove over a blue backround

Bio: Maia was born into a dust mine. She worked at a very young age and was essentially a slave in the mines. Her parents where the owners of the mine. When her parents conceived her as a baby there were distraught the learn that they gave birth to a baby girl, when they wanted a son. Disgusted at the child they made one of the other workers take care of her and made her live in the mines. The mines were located south of the city of Vale.

She worked for years in the mines, hoping that one day she would escape. One day a white dove flew into the mines and landed near her, with a message attatched to its foot saying to run to the water. She only was able to think about the message for a second, when the mine started to explode. Dust crystals were going off in the mines and threatened to collapse the tunnels. She ran as fast as she could, seeing people being blown in half and the tunnels collapsing behind her. As she reached near the end and explosion goes off near her taking half of her arm off. Adrenaline kicking, she shook it off and kept running. She manages to escape at the last second as the final explosion sends flying out of the mine, now missing an arm, a leg, and blind.

She manages to hear the flow of the nearby river and claws her way as close as she can to the noise, obviously not getting far. The last thing she remembers what listening to the sounds of water, and footsteps. She awakens in a dimly lit home, surprised first of all to even being able to see. Still wrapped in bandages that were bloody she looks over to see a slim man with shaggy hair and glasses.

This mans name was Senon. He was an engineer, he created mining equipment and even various weapons around the kingdom of Vale. He had heard of a rumor of Maia being disowned from her parents for not being a male heir to the company. He planned to save her and give her a new life, but also had other motvies behind saving her that still remain a mystery. He also was the one responsible for sending the message via dove to Maia

Shortly after she recovered he found her a family of caring hunters that took her in as their new daughter. She was raised by her new family and finally learned to know what love was. She was inspired by her hunters of parents, and joined signal academy. Eventually she joined beacon academy. She wanted to become a huntress in order to become something of a beacon of hope. She didn't want anything like her childhood to happen to her. She wanted to solve peace amongst the grimm, human, and faunus. Her other motives were to eventually find Senon, and find his true motives for saving her. As well find out what happened to her real parents after the incident.

(Map of Vale. Mine was located around the end of the southern city river.)
Map of Vale:

Equipment and Battle Info

Battle attire:

Concept of charcter.:

Maia wears a white scarf that wraps around the lower part of her face, still revealing her blue eyes and hair. She also wears a teal green jacket that still exposes the upper half of her body. She wears  a white no sleve top that hugs her skin, as well as black shorts that turn into long white pants as it travels down her legs. She wears black boots, and wears various belts holding magazine holders on her body.

Fighting style: She is a long to mid ranged fighter. Since she is small and not all that strong she prefers to stay back and pick off targets. She also prefers to remain hidden until the time arrives to strike.

Weapon Name: Blue forest

Weapon Range: Long to Mid, to close quarters

Weapon type: Sniper/Marksman rifle/Shortsword

Weapon Description:

Blue forests Sniper look:

A long barreled sniper rifle. Its metal looks like a dark shade of blue. It has a pistol grip for precision aiming and multiple buttons near the trigger to activate its other forms. The blade that can pop out of the rifle is nothing all too special. It has a handle that matches the color of the rifle and and steel shining blade. Overall the weapon has been well maintained over the years.

Weapon Abilities:

Blue Forest is a semi automatic sniper rifle. It has the ability to fire multiple long range rounds in quick succession. The rifle also has the ability to have 2 other weapon forms. One being that the whole gun can shift so that it is much easier to carry around and use in closer scenarios. In this case it can be used similair to that of a m14 rifle rather than say a long range sniping machine. The only other function it has, is that underneath the barrel a blade can pop out for melee defense and as a surprise.

Misc. Info

Family: Adopted parents, Real parents, Senon.

Strengths and Weaknesses: Maia is extremely fragile as a human being and emotionally. She has improved over the years emotionally since her childhood, but is still not perfect. In combat she is a rather trained marksman, but in melee is where she falls off drastically. She may be in possesion of a shortsword, but she is not that trained with it. She can sometimes be afraid of confrontation, and tries to not fight at all usually unless needs too. Despite her limbs, she seems to be liked by most people due to her calming look about her. Speaking of which her robotic limbs are harder to damage.....since they are ya know.....made out of metal. Also her aura may have different effects depending on each persons idea of "calm".

Other: She loves piano music and cookies.

Last edited by Darcil on Sun Mar 09, 2014 8:25 am; edited 1 time in total
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Zou Sama

Posts : 92
Join date : 2014-01-21
Age : 20
Location : Australia

PostSubject: Re: Maia Dodgern   Sun Mar 09, 2014 8:09 am

Most of the things I see are inconsistencies and (I'm assuming) typos.

I am, however, slightly mindful of the Semblance.
I don't really have a problem with it too much, but I am mindful that it has the potential to be an ever so slight god-mod.
Mostly, I think, that is due to this quote;
"Maia has the ability to calm everyone around her and not fight.".
I say that because not every character has the same sense of calm. For instance, my character, Shard, is most at peace when he's inflicting pain on others (Yeah, I'm a sadist. Shut up.).

Also, in the strengths and weaknesses section, you say "Despite having a blade on hand".
I know that means "Is in possession of a blade", but did have to read that a second time, having seen no mention of a blade in her cybernetics anywhere else in the profile.

And last thing I don't quite get is the dove in Maia's Bio.
"One day a white dove flew into the mines and landed near her, with a message saying to run to the water."
I'm assuming the dove wasn't speaking to her, but I still don't get how the message was delivered.
Was there a note tied to its foot or something like that?
And why warn specifically Maia? Who sent the warning?

Two other things I'd like to point out;
"distraught the learn that they gave birth to a baby girl, when they wanted a daughter.".
I know it's a typo, but it's kinda confusing, nonetheless.

And last thing altogether (at least, that I can see) is Senon.
You state he has plans for Maia, in some form or other.
That's all fine, and I'm not asking to hear them, but I hust want to make sure you know the plans yourself. Otherwise, it might be cause for plot holes and such down the line.

Shard Daykanus
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PostSubject: Re: Maia Dodgern   Sun Mar 09, 2014 8:31 am

Edited the following based upon above:

Reworded the semblence slightly to make more sense. I beleive when it comes to people having different ideas of calm it depends on the person. When someone thinks of calm it typically means not agitated, soothed, etc.

However you make a solid point and I added that too the strenghts and weaknesses part of the profile.

Changed phrasing of blade on hand too, the fact she owns a shortsword. Honestly didn't think of a blade hand to possibly be mixed up! Sorry!

Not gonna lie I worded that poorly, edited to clarify the dove had a written message on it, and added that Senon sent it.

Fixed my derp of type on wanting a son over a daughter.

I have plans already for a plot in the future featuring Senon. I appreciate the concern though =D. He is a rather mysterious character and thus I am wanting to keep him on the "down low" per say.

If you have any more concerns or criticisms please add more!
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Zou Sama

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Join date : 2014-01-21
Age : 20
Location : Australia

PostSubject: Re: Maia Dodgern   Sun Mar 09, 2014 8:37 am

Well, I have no further problems.

One last thing to be mindful of, however, is placing the location in/around Vale.
I don't think it'll be a problem, but depending on the show, it may have to be changed.


Shard Daykanus
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Alex Barkhorn

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Age : 23
Location : Cruisin'.

PostSubject: Re: Maia Dodgern   Sun Mar 09, 2014 9:06 am

I don't see any further issues, myself.


"This is where I will draw my line." - Renji Aoki

"Be proud of who you are." - Veronique "Vera" Milian, Leader of team VMLN

"Hey, young blood." - Ezekiel "Zeke" Akairo.

"Oso sugiru..." - Okiro Kuroki. of team ONYX

"Do not hurt my friends! Ya got that?!" - Xiang Fahy

"Smile!" - Rudil Blaus

I don't care what other people think of me.
I know what I am, and no whiny asshat with daddy issues can change that.

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